ask

He wanted someone to ask how he was doing

Not so he could complain

Just so he knew that someone cared 

©johnfklee

Her skin

Her skin

Bronze

Smooth

Soft like velvet

Flawless

It held her together 

Her so many imperfections

That to get under her skin

Was to know true beauty 

©johnfklee

companion

Some people want a companion

And others 

Want so much more

©johnfklee

Phoenix

Like a Phoenix 

She rose from the fire

To be stronger and more beautiful than before

©johnfklee 

More or less

Would you rather live

With a little bit more or a timy bit less

A little more happy

Or a whole lot more stress

You run 'til you're tired
Or lay down and rest
In a stark clean life

Devoid of most mess

Collecting owned things

All scattered and wide

For things out of reach

To have at your side

Is more of one thing

Much better than few

To figure that out

It's all up to you

But the trick to the question

I'll explain to you now
It is not so much what
But the why and the how

©johnfklee

She burned

She burned

Something

Some thing inside her burned

Through her

When she saw him

She burned

pure white

Wanted him

Needed him

Loved him

She knew him

And she knew

She could not live without him

…and yet she froze

and did nothing

©johnfklee

This time

This time

I am

How do I know

She said

Look in my eyes

Do you see doubt

Feel my kiss

Do you sense hesitation

Let me hold you

Share my warmth

I am

He said

But I can only show you

If you let me

But still she was not sure

So he left

©johnfklee

Stop looking

Stop looking for love

You won't find it

You stumble upon it

While looking the other way

©johnfklee

Dreamed

He dreamed of flying

With her at his side

Their arms round each waist

Or just hand in hand

To places they had talked of

And places they'd never imagined

Until they found a place 

As beautiful and simple

As their love 

©johnfklee

Brunt

He bore the brunt of his love

Scars and holes

Tears and creases

Bruises and bumps

Yet his heart still beat

And his soul still sang

©johnfklee

wore

They both wore their scars on their faces
and hope in their eyes

©johnfklee

painting

Her eyes showed an art

That could never be painted

©johnfklee

everyday

He did not want her to help him forget his past

Nor look too far to the future

He only wanted to cherish today with her

Every day

©johnfklee

a line drawn

Love

The question

Do I /Don't I

Do it. If it doesn't work out, it may kill you. Cripple or break you. 

/ 

But if you don't, you will never know if it could have saved very you. 

©johnfklee 

Warm bodies

Warm bodies

Close together

Sharing space

And heat

Skin on skin

Breathing as one

Closer

Hearts beat as one

Deeper

Souls touch

Find comfort in closeness 

And joy in

Warm bodies 

©johnfklee

Welcome to me

You're difficult

Sometimes I don't know what is worse

Living with you

Or living without you

You make me feel loved

And neglected

Happy while crying

You lift me up when letting me down

You torture me

With your love and complexities 

But I love you 

And I'll bear the pain

Just to feel your love and joy

I know you try

I know you love me

Madly

But what can you say to this

What must I know

He looked in her eyes 

And said

Welcome

To me

©johnfklee

Wanted

But it's not real

She said

What you want doesn't exists

It does

It has to

I don't want something special 

I don't want something good for me

I want more

I want it all

Everything

Everyday

My last thought at night

And first thought in the morning

But you won't find that

No matter where you look

I'm not looking for it

I'm waiting for it

For her

And I'll wait forever until she finds me

©johnfklee

ring

I want to

Put a big ring on her finger

A glowing smile on her face

And a love in her heart that she will never forget 

©johnfklee

Why the talk

Why the screaming

And shouting

And piling on of negative thoughts

Plenty of us have failed in relationships

And let fe

For too many reasons

But to attack someone's failings

Is to bare your own 

©johnfklee

Crush

She was a crush from his youth

That still endured 

©johnfklee

Pockets

Pockets

He kept his hands in his pockets

Empty 

Clutching nothing

Only taking them out when needed 

When done

Pushed back down

Deep

Clenched

Curled

Or straight in

Fingers not moving

Just still

Waiting to be used

Called out again

Depended on to do their job

Then back 

Again

Ready for when he needed them next

©johnfklee

B/W

She radiates beauty

Even in black and white 

©johnfklee

moved

She moved on

But he couldn't 

She moved on

But he wouldn't

She moved on

Eventually

He moved on

Too

©johnfklee 

easy love hard live

Loving him came easy

His smile

His self depreciation 

His emotional range

The way his eyes could see through her soul

But

Living with him could be hell

His face bore all of his thoughts 

His darkness consumed

His emotional rage cut deep

And his eyes could get lost in thoughts that stole him away and she never knew if he'd return

Yes

Loving him was easy

But living with him

©johnfklee

I am a night to remember and a day to forget

Easy to love

Hard to live with

©johnfklee

he saw her

He saw her

And he knew

He loved her

Without a word

He knew 

©johnfklee

what he wrought

What he wrought

Was iron

©johnfklee 

Perfection

Perfection

Is inevitable

For we will all

Inevitably

Be perfectly 

Dead

©johnfklee 

her shadow

a taken heart

unbroken

Unbroken

His heart

©johnfklee

Sideways

He looked to his left

And right

He missed her

Again

She was there

He could feel her

She was always there

Always with him

In him 

Part of his soul

Forever

Part of his life 

Yet he sensed her

Close 

Smelled her

But he did not hear her

Until she slipped her arms around him

From behind

And whispered in his ear

Did you miss me

©johnfklee

Looking

He stopped looking at bodies

And started looking at souls

©johnfklee

Fly

He dreamed he could fly

Just by wanting it

©johnfklee

Skin and...

She is nothing but skin and bones

Flesh on flesh

But matters not her size

Her weight

Her color

Or height

She is beautiful

To him

And to all who see her

She radiates

A Glow

An Energy

That all can see and feel

Her aura is as big as any room she enters

And she fills that room with her presence

Pushing at the walls such that they could burst 

She is uncontainable  

Yes

Just skin and bones 

And a potency  

That overwhelms those lucky enough to encounter her

©johnfklee 

Shirts

He stopped wearing his heart on his sleeve

And put it on paper

It hurt no less

But saved him on shirts

©johnfklee

Every turn

At every turn

He felt lost

Whether it was searching inside

Looking back

Or moving forward

He'd lost himself

And could not seem to find him

Where to look

Next 

©johnfklee 

She stood

She stood there 

Looking

But not quite his way

Just catching him in her periphery 

He didn't notice

Like so many times before

His missed the subtleties of life

©johnfklee 

Take off

Take off your make-up

Let down your hair

Remove your dress 

Don't hide behind 

Paints and braids and clothes 

I want to see you

Raw

Naked

Unkempt

Not the one 

You present to the world

I want the One 

You wake up with

©johnfklee

Listened

Listened

He listened to the music

Her breathing

And his heart

And it was good

It was all very good

©johnfklee 

Every time

Every time he looked in a mirror

He struggled to see what others saw in him

©johnfklee 

Smiled

When she smiled

She lit up the room

But 

When she smiled

It hurt her 

Just a little bit

Nothing so beautiful 

Could exist 

Without a little crack in perfection 

©johnfklee

To him

She came to him 

In dreams

Recurring thoughts 

Or familiar scent

In moments that took him back

Between breaths

And blinks

She came to him

One hundred different ways

Everyday 

She came to him 

But all those times

She never returned 

©johnfklee

Hurt

He hurt her

And he would spend the rest of his life 

Trying to apologize 

With how he lived his life

With

Or without her 

©johnfklee 

Closed

As she spoke 

He closed his eyes

You are ignoring me

She said

Oh no

Then why do you close your eyes when I talk to you

I close my eyes to clear my mind of everything 

But your voice

©johnfklee

Arched

She arched her back

Dipped her left shoulder

Lifted her chin

And looked back at him

Was it an invitation

A reprimand

A calling

Stay

Go

He did not know

As his doubt

And ego

Held him captive

She 

Just

Kept

Walking

Away

©johnfklee

Weathered

Weathered

Life had weathered his skin

Drawn lines 

Creased at the corner of his eyes and 'cross his forehead 

His age

An irrelevant number 

40 or 90

It meant nothing to His story

His eyes

Sometimes dimmed

Or aflame

Every days' storms worn on his face

Not the boy he had been

But a man

He knew himself

What was his was owned by his heart

And those around him

Lives better for his presence

By all that made him

Loved and protected he'd given himself for them

Not emptied 

More full because of them

Yes he was weathered

But there was life in him growing and still taking root

And changing the world

©johnfklee

In dreams

In dreams

He chased her away during his days 

But she returned to him in his dreams 

©johnfklee

Someday words

Someday words

Some days the words

They flow like the waters

They're easy and breezy

And float in the air

Some days the words

Are bold and exciting 

Light fires in hearts

And burn through the cold

But some days the words

Are not quite as clever

But only as simple as

I truly love you

©johnfklee 

Cupped

Cupped

He cupped her face in his hands

And knew

She was an angel 

Whose wings he would never see

But whose grace

Would always be

©johnfklee 

No Where

No Where

Where she was 

Was no where she should be

What she saw

Was no thing she should see

©johnfklee

Nowhere

Nowhere

She was in the middle of nowhere 

But her heart knew 

She was always in his arms 

©johnfklee 

Show me

Show me 

Show me a piece of you

No one has ever seen

And I will give to you

A piece of me

No one has ever owned 

©johnfklee

Tangled

Tangled

Tangled in a web

Of lies

And heartache 

Her beauty shown through

And lit her way

©johnfklee

Inspired

She inspired him

Even in her absence

©johnfklee 

Sometime sound

  

Sometimes

The sound of her voice

Through the notes that she sent

Was all he needed to hear 

©johnfklee

Touched deeper

  

He reached up

And touched a fingertip

To his heart

Looking at her

He said

Your touch

Goes much deeper

©johnfklee 

Her smile

If her smile doesn't captivate you

Nothing else will

©johnfklee

Mirror

Don't look in a mirror to criticize or judge

Don't see your reflection with jaded eyes

Check your hair, your makeup, your clothes

A mirror shows a reflection

But we interpret what we see

There is beauty in that mirror

If you look deep enough

Don't let others' opinions 

Change your view 

You cannot see your soul in a mirror

You cannot view your heart 

A mirror reflects the physical

Not the spiritual

©johnfklee

Disappoint

Disappointment 

When their current actions 

Make their past professions

Appear to be lies

©johnfklee

Bought

  

He bought her little

But gave to her

Everything 

©johnfklee 

Blood heals

  

Torn flesh

Cut deep

Wound bleeds

Pain ebbs

Sweat stings

Tears wash

Scars form

Blood heals

©johnfklee

She smiled

She smiled

As she walked by

I saw the two of them

Both beauties

And watched as they approached

The one

Younger

Brought a smile to my face

Stunning

She was

And all I could do was watch

Her light shone as she approached 

And I could only watch

Watch as they both walked by

But it was the other whose eye I caught

She looked at me

And her face glowed

And she smiled back

As I watched her

And her very young daughter

Walk by

She smiled

We both did 

©johnfklee

Cowards in plain sight

They are here

Around us

Not silent

Or meek

But withholding

Living out loud

Sharing of themselves

Apparently all but

They hold back

At the most crucial of times

Mislabeling openness

Stubbornness

For vulnerablity

They keep giving

Thinking that will do

But when the challenges

Big

Or small

Arise

They don't

They can fight

They can walk away

But are afraid of the in between

Thinking others don't notice

Or the unanswered questions are missed

But they cower in the light

Bold enough to speak

But not enough to answer

The easy questions

Or the hard ones

How is your family

Will you marry me

Are met with the same non answer

But they think they are brave

Because they risked themselves

They leapt from rooftops to rooftop 

And said they were brave

But that one blind step

That short leap of faith

They froze

Because the landing was not so clear

They'd leap a hundred feet 

If they saw the target

But would not step out their door

With their eyes closed

Cowards

All of them

You think them brave

But they are cowards

Hiding in plain sight 

©johnfklee

Moonlight and madness

Moonlight and madness

Happy and sadness

Love and envy 

Ego and hate

Hearts build up walls

Faith rises and falls

Broken or not

Some call it fate

But I'll see inside

And match her in stride

Eyes looking far

Out past heav'ns gate 

The love songs'n done wrongs 

Baby's gone too long

Tired eyes still crying

Yet still looking straight

But the moonlight and madness

Won't cause me the sadness 

For love to come find me

It's never too late 

©johnfklee

Won't heal

Time won't heal wounds 

Only offers more time

For pain to creep up

From heart to the mind

Time doesn't scar

Over blood flown free

From left open cuts

That continuously bleed

Time cannot stop

The pain in your heart

Nor dull that slow thump

For it's you who must start 

Time only offers 

Is this if I may

More opportunity 

Steep price that you'll pay

For falling in love

And giving yourself

To someone eventually 

Put you back on a shelf

The reasons don't matter

The hurt is too real

Yes, time offers time

For you to self heal

©johnfklee

27 blocks

27 blocks 

He walked that day

In rain

And snow

And wind

27 blocks

Just went away

That day

He left 

Behind

27 blocks

To her front door

He walked

He ran

Advanced

27 blocks

To see her once

Before

She left

For sure

27 blocks

He thought of her

A kiss

A smile

A laugh

27 blocks

He held his breath

He hoped

He prayed

He cried

27 blocks

But he arrived

Too late

She'd gone

He lost

And 

27 blocks

He walked back home

Head down

Heart crushed

Denied 

©johnfklee

I'll die

If 

I'll die

If you want

I'll die

If you want to die

I'll die with you

If you want to die

I will die with you

If you want to live

I'll live with you

If you want

I will 

©johnfklee 

Sometimes

Sometimes I want to just lay down and die

But I have sons

And I would rather them see me suffer and struggle every day than for them to see me give up all hope and quit

Such is the struggle of people who live with depression

Life

Living can be so terribly painful at times time that ending it really does appear to be the best option

But as in all life, sometimes the best answer is not the right answer 

©johnfklee

Moon over

  

The moon over her shoulder

Looked down past her feet

And lighted the path

To the lover she'd meet

She knew neither his name

Not countenance seen

But she knew he was near

By the guided moonbeam

One step following light

One step from the shadow

Not knowing her route 

But only to follow

This path set before her

From heavenly host

A track through the world

Would offer the most 

Not trodden down flat

From others before

Undiscovered 'til now

As true love it was pure 

When into a clearing

Lit clear lunar rays

Was the most beautiful man

Seen all of her days

She walked up beside him

Hand blindly found hand 

Just two brand new lovers

Left only to stand 

Her eyes followed as 

His gaze did not move

From that heavenly body

That match-making moon

©johnfklee

In her youth

She died young

Tragic

A fluke of nature took her

She did not live long

But she lived well

She died young

Left behind

A daughter and family

Too many friends 

Things to be done

She died young

She had loved 

Been loved

And known heartache 

It had changed her

But she died young

Left a hole in this world 

That would be filled

Filled with memories

Of her 

In her youth

©johnfklee

Veiled

Like a bride's white 

Or a widow's lace 

She wore her heart under a veil 

That she could see out

But those who could 

See not the complete visage of her

Her words spoken with full voice 

But eyes averted

Looking down 

Or away

Those others could not gage

Smile

Frown

Or even a wink

Nor tear

Or twinkle

What veils could not cover

He dress could conceal

Neither all white

Nor black silhouette 

But colored to confuse

And lead those eyes 

Away 

From her face

Not to be seen

Unless she lifted the veil

Yet

It was so heavy at times 

That she could only lift

With the help of another 

But how would they know

If they could not see

©johnfklee

Buried words

Hope

Spoken but no longer to be his

Promise

Broken and lost out in the mist

Feeling 

Written on paper burnt to ash

Love 

Proved not strong enough to last

Future

Ended when one's direction changed

Heart

Scarred but must withstand the pain

Word

Buried no longer his to say 

©johnfklee

Died young

He died young

Of too many broken hearts

But he woke every morning

Hoping for something new

Something permanent

So every day he lived

He died young

And every night

He died a little older

©johnfklee

Killed you

I killed you

He said

Staring straight ahead

Right in the other one's eyes

I killed you

How can you be back

I beat you

I fought against you for so long

That I forgot what living was like

I forgot who I was

Because all I was 

Was the fight

I

Killed

You

He said

To his reflection in the mirror

But he knew

The memories looking back

At him

Would never die

©johnfklee

Never tell

Never tell someone how to

Love

Mourn

Feel

Hope

Pray

Suffer

Smile

Live

or

Die

It is not your

Heart to guide

Loss to bare 

Emotions to share

Desires to win

Faith to express

Pain to endure

Light to shine

Your life to live

or

Your immortality to contemplate 

But give them you

Yourself

And they will understand how you

Love 

Mourn

Hope

Pray

Suffer

Smile

Live

and

Die

And they will be grateful 

©johnfklee

Lost souls

9.17.2016

For Patrick

Lost souls

Looking 

Far past their sight

In search of

Victory

In their life

Not easily seen

More difficult

To find

These victories

Dance at their feet

Float above their heads 

Whisper in their ear

Even wet

On their lips 

But lost souls

Blind to light

Deaf to song

Their touch

Only feels cold

Bitter their taste and smell

Those lost

Their souls meandering

'Round this world

Have no destination 

No sense 

Of the journey 

Stumble over stones

Not quite there 

Gasp for air

Gulp water 

Still thirst 

Wind

Always against them

Sun

Too bright on eyes 

Burns

These souls

Search 

For what 

They'll not find 

'Less they will take the hand

Of a friend

©johnfklee

The space in between

The space in between  

Two lovers at night

Bounds the space 'tween their hearts

As they lay parallel

Or sit on the couch

Hand held like a tether

She slaps at a slouch 

He leans for a nuzzle

And closes the space

That creates the puzzle 

Two pieces apart 

Completed together 

The space in between 

Two lovers who care

Marks the distance

Between

The lives 

That they share 

©johnfklee

Loved

Loved 

You are loved

She said

I know

Just know it 

I do

I know 

But

I think

I think it comes down to this

I don't want to be loved 

I never have

Why

I'm not sure really

Maybe 

Maybe I am

It's just that 

It hurts 

I know

We have all been hurt

Love ends

Love sometimes isn't what we thought it was 

Maybe it wasn't there

It was and it ended 

Maybe

We think we love someone 

But we even lie to ourselves 

Just so we feel good

Aren't lonely

So yes

I know the bad times can be rough

And scar us

But the good times are worth it

Those moments when you know Love

When you know you are loved 

They are worth it

Right

He shuddered

And went pale

Those times

The good times

Those are the moments that hurt

That hurt the most

For some of us

At those times

It crushes 

I'm not sure why

But it's those times that hurt me far more than the bad times

Maybe because 

When it ends

And I know at that time that it will end

Because everything ends

I know that when I do look back

I won't remember those good times

Not that I don't want to

It is that I am unable to

And knowing that those times are not only gone from my future

But that I cannot remember them from my past

Well

That hurts far more than being able to remember and miss them

©johnfklee

Alone

Alone

An empty hotel room

Rumpled bed 

No one between the sheets

A cell

Isolation 

A sentence carried out

Life

My penance 

For love

Silence

Unnerving silence

Left alone 

Again

©johnfklee